Insecurity is something that every single person in the world suffers from. It does not matter if you are a guy or girl because this is not a guy or girl thing, it’s a human thing.
All of us have things we are self-conscious about. It could be the way you look, the size of your wallet, or even your capabilities or lack thereof. Your insecurity may come from one source or another, but differing sources have the same effect.
The roads of insecurity all lead to the same destination; a lonely island where your perception of self and the world is negatively tainted. Seemingly small things seem larger than they really are. You view a candle light as a forest fire, a mole hill as a mountain, or a raindrop as an ocean.
The dangerous thing about insecurity is it can permeate every aspect of your life. Those ten extra pounds you put on does much more than just add to the scale. It gives you anxiety, low self-esteem, bitterness towards yourself and others, distorts your personality, and derails confidence.
The ten pounds you gained is the very lens through which you view life. This isn’t the type of lens that makes your vision go from blurry to clear; it makes your vision go from clear to blurry.
Sadly the sources that influence your insecurity is inescapable, but you don’t have to be a prisoner to them (easier said than done).
The forces that influence your insecurity can include but are not limited to media, upbringing, comparison, self-perception, and friendships.
These forces have influence, but they do not have control. You may feel imprisoned by them, but you are not a prisoner to them.
How can you escape the hold of insecurity when you feel chained up by it?
You can read an encouraging quote, hear someone’s testimony, or even try harder to accept yourself. None of these things will loosen the grip that insecurity has on you. They may give you momentary relief, but they are only Band-Aids that cover up the pain rather than healing it.
You can spend all of your effort trying to accept yourself, but you will come to find that your effort isn’t the problem. The real problem is where your effort is being exerting.
It’s like trying to pull a cap off a bottle. You can pull as hard as you want, but the cap won’t come off if you are just pulling it. If you want to take it off, you must twist it. You can try as hard as you want to pull the cap off the bottle, but it won’t work. Your effort will end up hurting your hand and squishing the bottle. The problem isn’t in the effort, it is where the effort is being exerted. Put that same amount of effort into the twisting the cap and within seconds you will be able to take it off the bottle.
Reading encouraging quotes, hearing a testimony, and simply trying harder won’t help you because these things don’t affect the real source of your insecurity. Those things are like trying to pull the cap off a water bottle.
The source of your insecurity has to do with the posture of your heart. The question to ask yourself is this: Where are your hands pointed? Are your hands pointed horizontally (world focused) or vertically (God focused)?
If the posture of your heart has your hands pointed horizontally, your insecurity will continue to grow. You will continue pursuing things of this world in an attempt to satisfy only the parts of your heart that Christ can satisfy.
Insecurity is the product of discontentment within your heart and you will never be content outside of Christ because there will always be something that you are discontent with.
Only when the posture of your heart has your hands pointed vertically is when insecurity will begin to fade. Sin has left a longing in our hearts that only Christ can satisfy.
Philippians 4:13 is one of the most misused verses in all of Scripture, but in its broader context we can learn a valuable lesson. In Philippians 4:11-13 Paul says “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”
Paul is a man who was beaten, stoned, shipwrecked, chased out of cities, falsely accused, imprisoned, and starved. In all of this he learned how to be content. Philippians 4:13 isn’t saying that you can become a millionaire with God’s help, but that with God you can be content even when you’re not a millionaire.
Contentment for Paul came when the posture of his heart had his hands pointed vertically. It didn’t matter what was happening on the horizontal level for him because he was vertically focused.
Prayerfully approach God, gather with your local church, read your Bible, and allow Him to satisfy the most discontent parts of your heart.