When I was younger, I knew a woman who lived across the street. She was a married woman with two kids. As I got to know her more, it came to my understanding that her marriage was struggling. Then out of nowhere I heard she was going to get divorced!
I once overheard her conversing with some people regarding a tattoo she had of her husband’s name. As I sat there overhearing their conversation, I remember her saying “What am I going to do? I am getting divorced and have my husband’s name tattooed on my arm.” I will never forget how her friends responded to her. They said “That is why you never get a tattoo of your spouse’s name on your arm!”
I was in middle school when all of this was happening and I remember how rational I thought their perspective was. It made sense to me that one should never get a tattoo of their spouse’s name in case they ever got divorced. At the time I thought great wisdom was being shared with the woman getting divorced.
I am married now, and looking back I can confidently say I believed the biggest lie there is. I confused foolishness with wisdom. The statement “you should never get a tattoo of your spouse’s name” is spoken by people who do not understand the meaning of marriage. This statement is far from the truth! It implies that you should never get something permanent done in reference to your marriage because you do not know if your marriage will be permanent.
Let me say this…I will NEVER get divorced!
I do not say this to boast in any way. I say this to make a statement that is not rooted in self-confidence, but confidence rooted in God’s design for marriage. This statement is only bold to those who listen and believe the lies of culture. If you believe culture, it is bold to say you will never get divorced. If you believe the word of God, it is impossible to say divorce is a possibility.
It is irrational to say that for the rest of my life I will work out an hour every day. There will be days I do not feel like working out and days I do not make the time to do so. There may even be days where I become far too ill to work out. If we think of marriage in the same way, then we do not understand it.
Matthew 19:6 says “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
Marriage is not some commitment you make that ends when you do not feel like doing it anymore. It is not some commitment you back out of because you fall out of love. Marriage is a covenant relationship you are in despite the sin of both you and your spouse. Sin does not justify divorce; it shines the spotlight on the need for growth.
Saying I will never get divorced is not arrogant. I am not saying I will never fail. I acknowledge that I will fail time and time again, but God’s design of marriage gives room for failure. Sin does not give you the keys to walk out the backdoor on your marriage. Sin reminds you of your depravity and need for God.
When marriage gets difficult, you cannot throw a pity party and think how the marriage needs to bend to your needs and your feelings. When marriage gets difficult, you need to ask yourself, “How can God grow me in this area to make me a better spouse?”
You may think I have no credibility to what I say because I lack an experienced marriage. Therefore to say “I will NEVER get divorced” is foolish. It is foolish to think that experience in my marriage will give more credibility to my statement. Doesn’t God’s design for marriage make my statement credible? Time does not reveal whether or not my marriage will last; God has created marriage to last.
Let me end with this…
There are two different groups of people reading this article. The first group would tell me that I am ignorant. The second group would say they could not agree with me more.
The first group would say I am ignorant in what I say because to them, you never know what is going to happen in marriage. The second group would agree with me because they realize that no matter what happens, divorce never will.
It breaks my heart to hear of how many marriages fail and end in divorce. Just because people redefine marriage to accommodate their feelings does not change what marriage is. God created marriage! Genesis 2:24 says “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
It does not matter if culture redefines marriage or says it is bad. The security of your marriage does not rest in cultures definition of commitment, it rests in God’s design of the covenant.
My heart behind this article isn’t to say that divorce doesn’t happen. I know it does and that is the heartbreaking reality of sin. My point is to say that Christians should never go into a marriage thinking divorce is an option. I would never advise someone to get married if they even hinted that divorce is an option.
There are times a spouse is forced down the road of divorce by their spouse. This happens to far too many people. My point isn’t to say that doesn’t happen. My point is to say that Gods definition of marriage doesn’t include divorce; therefore those who are married can take comfort in their covenantal relationship knowing it is secure because God didn’t make divorce an option.