I’m six weeks into my marriage and am already an expert ;).
In the past six weeks I have learned the importance of cleaning my side of the room, offering to do dishes, and not stealing all the blankets in the middle of the night. These are a few lessons I’ve learned, but there is one lesson learned that has rocked my world.
Even though I encounter my wife every day, the person I’ve learned most about in our marriage thus far has been myself.
In our everyday interactions, my wife is like a mirror that forces me to look at the reflection of my own heart. In our interactions, a spotlight shines bright on the sin within my heart. Each day my heart feels the tension between desiring selflessness while being inclined towards selfishness.
I always wondered what it would be like to be married to someone and discover the ugliest parts of their heart. I never expected that marriage would help me discover the ugliest, most selfish parts of my own heart.
With the spotlight on my own sin, it forces me to confront my heart. I’ve learned that this painful spotlight isn’t to be resented or avoided, it is to be embraced. There are moments where God uses my marriage to reveal the depravity of my heart. Those moments are opportunities for God to chisel my heart as he does the painful work of sanctification.
So far, I’ve learned that marriage forces you to look at yourself in the mirror every day. The beauty of marriage isn’t that your spouse enables you to live for your kingdom, but that through difficulties they will help you live for God’s kingdom (even though at times it is very painful).