In order to understand the ugly, foul, monstrous and repulsive nature of pornography, we must understand the beauty that is sex within marriage. Two contrasting things expose one another’s qualities. Pornography’s ugliness is exposed best when contrasted with the beauty of sex within marriage.
Pornography is destroying our world. It bleeds into the lives of children, teens, adults, marriages and even church leadership. We shouldn’t run away from pornography just because it’s bad, we run away from it so we may run to something better.
In marriage, sex is not just about you. It is also about the other; it is meant to unite the both of you. It is a vulnerable expression of oneness. Timothy Keller writes that sex says to the other, “I am expressing with my body the oneness we share in all other aspects of our lives. I want to give you pleasure and give you joy in knowing the sacred, vulnerable union we share.” Sex is a way to express that you belong wholly to the other till death do you part. It is a selfless act.
Pornography allows you to satisfy yourself whenever and however you want. What contrasts selflessness more than selfishness? Pornography allows you to experience sexual pleasure without sexual intimacy. The only intimacy you experience is intimacy with your hand and a computer screen.
If you are relying on marriage to cure your fixation on pornography, you are headed for disaster. Addiction to pornography will not end with passivity. You don’t just wake up one day and stop watching it. You must wage war against it. Don’t just fight against pornography. Fight against it so that you may fight for something better: sex within marriage.
Seek accountability, bring your sin to light, install porn blocking software on your devices, pray, lean on community, and run away whenever temptation arises. You aren’t just waging war AGAINST pornography; you are waging war FOR the vulnerability, intimacy, union and joy that sex will add to your marriage.